THE AFC FIELD
AFC North
Cincinnati Bengals
Cleveland Browns
Although the Ravens are only one game behind the Steelers, their schedule looks pretty daunting for a rookie quarterback to navigate down the stretch. They host the Redskins and Steelers, take a trip to Dallas and finish with the hapless Jaguars at home. Optimistically they go 3-1, but reality tells me it’s either 2-2 or 1-3, either way that’s not enough to make it to the final dance. Meanwhile, December has arrived bringing good cheer to Pittsburgh. The ‘burgh has an equally tough finish (vs. Dallas, at Ravens, at Titans and vs. Browns), but unlike the Ravens, the Steelers are a good team. Also, Troy Polamalu is the Defensive Player of the Year. Yes, he gets burned like every safety does, but he never misses a chance to come up with the big play.
Nothing, not even a couple more Ray Lewis murders will get the Ravens in the playoffs
WINNER: PITTSBURGH STEELERS
AFC South
Jacksonville Jaguars
Houston Texans
The Titans’ three game lead with four to play is way too much for the peculiar Colts to make up, but playoffs are certainly in Indi’s future. Even though they’ve reeled off five in a row, the Colts still remain a mystery. And Peyton Manning being Peter King’s top MVP candidate, c’mon Pete, that’s not cool. Although Kurt Warner is trying his best to piss the MVP away, he has to be the leader at this point. When it’s all said and done expect Warner and Adrian Peterson to be in a dead heat for the MVP. In a year in which nobody is a true favorite, I’m saying Purple Jesus claims his first MVP because the writers come to the realization that giving Kurt Warner three MVP awards would be a tragedy.
WINNER: TENNESSEE TITANS
WILD CARD: INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
AFC East
Buffalo Bills
Oh, the ole AFC East…good times. The three teams in contention in this division are not as good as their records may indicate. Playing both the NFC and AFC West is the gift that just keeps on giving. The combined record of these divisions is 31-65, meaning the AFC East’s win totals are slightly inflated. That said, with an extremely shaky AFC picture the Jets and Pats have the potential to do some damage in the playoffs, the Dolphins…not so much. Looks like the Jets and Pats are continuing their yearlong battle of which team has the easiest schedule and down the stretch it looks like this: Jets (at 49ers, vs. Bills, at Seahawks, vs. Dolphins), Pats (at Seahawks, at Raiders, vs. Arizona, at Bills). With a one game lead now and the easier schedule, I like the Jets to take the East. There will still be room in the postseason for the Patriots.
Best way to tell you live in a shithole town? Wayne Chrebet's name is on your sign.
WINNER: NEW YORK JETS
WILD CARD: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
AFC West
San Diego Chargers
Oakland Raiders
Kansas City Chiefs
I think most people will agree that the Broncos kind of suck. I read it in SI.com’s Power Rankings and I completely agree, no one can figure out the Broncos. Lose to the Raiders and Chiefs, beat Falcons and Jets, what? This team depends on the ample arm of a young man from Santa Claus, Indiana. When I think of the high risk/high reward QBs in the game today, I immediately go to Favre, Romo and Cutler. The problem for the Broncos is that the Jets and Cowboys have good enough teams to eek out a win if their QB happens to self-destruct. With the Broncos it’s a Cutler clinic or a loss, those are the only two options. More than any team in the league, the Broncos will live by the sword, die by the sword…but what a sword it is. Alright, my Cutler hard-on is slowing subsiding, luckily for all you readers this isn’t the NFC side because I’m sure I’d find a way to discuss Aaron “The Surgeon General” Rodgers at this point.
Reach for the stars, Tony, because even if you miss you'll land amongst the clouds
WINNER: DENVER BRONCOS
BYES: #1 Tennessee Titans and #2 N.Y. Jets
#3 Pittsburgh Steelers vs. #6 New England Patriots
We just saw this game a couple of days ago, and it wasn’t pretty. Anyone who knows me well knows my annoying habit when talking Patriots football; I can’t help but focus on Randy Moss. I know he dropped some TDs in this last game, but the only chance the Pats have to win in Pittsburgh is to chuck it to Moss at least once a series. They, of course, will not do that and they will get clobbered.
WINNER: PITTSBURGH STEELERS
#4 Denver Broncos vs. #5 Indianapolis Colts
Nightmare match-up for the Broncos. Just like Packers vs. Cowboys, the Broncos simply cannot beat Peyton Manning. Peyton is not a cold weather QB, so it’s possible that he’ll struggle in January, but no…Colts win.
WINNER: INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
#1 Tennessee Titans vs. #5 Indianapolis Colts
I know the Titans are 11-1, but they’ve been frauds in my view the entire year. I know on a lot of levels my beliefs are wrong, but I just don’t like them in the playoffs, sorry.
WINNER: INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
#2 N.Y. Jets vs. #3 Pittsburgh Steelers
Unfortunately for the Jets, they do not draw the warm weather Colts and lose their advantage. Although there have been some sore spots recently, Brett Favre is still the guy to have in a cold weather showdown. The Steelers will obviously not be intimidated by cold weather, and if Big Ben can figure out how to not hold onto the ball for an hour every time he drops back, Steelers will play well enough to win on the road.
WINNER: PITTSBURGH STEELERS
#3 Pittsburgh Steelers vs. #4 Indianapolis Colts
This is a toss-up for me. My coin says the Steelers.
You may be colorless now, but soon it'll be your time to shine, Limas
WINNER: PITTSBURGH STEELERS
