For the second straight week, the higher seed won every game, proving my Power Rankings are undoubtedly the be-all and end-all.
1. Plack Beople (4-0; Last Week: 1) – Argtits remains a full 27 points ahead of any other team, but there’s plenty of concern. Just 75 points in a Week 4 victory and injuries to Westbreeze and Roy Williams leaves the door open for upset potential the next few weeks. I know Griese’s been passing more and Denver’s D has been a sieve, but…really, Ike Hilliard?
What were you thinking entrusting ME with your #1 ranking?
2. Team lawniczak (4-0; 2) – Picking against Lawny twice in a row (incorrectly) has made me realize how good of a team he’s got. Even with S-Jax on Bye, there’s a lot to like here this week, with Graham vs. Denver, Slaton taking on a depleted Indy D, and Fitz getting all the targets against Buffalo with Boldin out.
3. Denver’s Helicopter Men (3-1; 3) – A monster Week 4 in which no one came within 13 points of Murndawg leaves him first in line should one of the undefeated teams go down. If LJ’s showing against his Broncos wasn’t a fluke last week, it’s tough to argue against this team being the best with all starters going. Good barometer game with Nate on tap.
4. Clayton Bigsby (3-1; 4) – If one of Diggs’ real QBs (Palmer or Eli) can emerge so that he doesn’t have to start Trent Edwards, Nate’s team could be truly dangerous. ‘Dre is an early bust with no touchdowns through 3 games, and needs a big performance for Gal!!! to have any shot this week.
Trent Edwards: Better dresser than fantasy QB
5. Flight of the Khannchords (2-2; 5) – 60 points? 6 turnovers from Kurt Warner and Ryan Grant’s 20 yards and a fumble will do that. On a side note, if Grant doesn’t get his fecal matter together and end up with 1000 yards this year, the Packers won’t have more than 6 wins.
6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Tauschers (1-3; 9) – The only team that makes an upward move this week, MLP hung 96 on Parkhill- without his top two picks playing. DeSean Jackson looks like a legit every-week starter, and Pagel struck fantasy gold with Forte. If DMC or Fargas takes over the lion’s share of carries under the new Oakland regime, watch out.
7. Tivo Tebow (1-3; 8) – I’ll admit, I may have been off about G Baby’s squad. He still had a quality showing in a losing cause last week, and has now put up scores of 95 and 111 in two of the past three. With Hasselbeck’s WRs getting healthy and Ronnie Brown rediscovering his nose for paydirt from early last season, Garrett’s voice will be heard in the playoff chase before all is said and done.
DAMN RIGHT I’M OUT OF THE BOTTOM 2, YOU FUCK
8. Team Ciske (1-3; 6) – Ciske, it’s like you’re asking me to make fun of you. Miles Austin? Mewelde Moore? Lance Moore? On the bright side, even if you lose, Sunday could still be a good day if Ocho Cinco scores and you stick a star on “Little Ciske.”
Like what you see, Benny? ;-)
9. Cromartie McFly (1-3; 7) – You know things aren’t going your way when you lose by one point. It’s been that kind of season for Psycho A, but he faces a winnable showdown this week with Ciske, as he tries to sneak a W with Braylon and Colston out this week.
10. Team Parkhill (0-4; 10) – It’s been an incredibly frustrating first quarter of the season for arguably the league’s deepest team. It gets no easier with Lawny coming up next.
Chase Daniel Tasty Pick of the Week: #6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Tauschers over #1 Plack Beople
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