Orton: The Knight of the Neckbeard

The barons and knights were gathered together at Castle Halas,
As the cold November breeze blew the leaves from the trees.
The meadow was wet as the outline of the gridiron was set.
King Lovie: The Wise found himself in an epic doozy of a bind,
For the injured ankle of his most glorious knight was troubling his mind.

Orton: The Knight of the Neckbeard made claim that he was ready for battle,
And the Lords, Serfs, and coordinators did not want to use the lesser knight again,
For surely the Knight of the Sex-Cannon was snuffed out during his last test,
As the Mighty Mighty Titans proved once again that they were the leagues best.

So King Lovie summoned the greatest doctor in all of the the Prairie State,
And he made haste, bringing his leeches to drain the knight's excess.
He correctly evened the humors and healed the bold and fearless knight,
And thus Orton proceeded to deflower four fair maidens, much to their delight.

Finally rested and fully recuperated, Orton set out for tough in-division battle.
He moved around the pocket however he pleased,
Hucking the rock all over the field with tremendous ease.
The Packers from the north were fragile and they immediately folded and bent,
Much like the knee of resident douche bag Nick Barnett (too soon?).

Orton and King Lovie's Bears were triumphant on this day,
Taking no prisoners in their flawless victory over Green Bay.
Sexy-Rexy, Aaron Rodgers, and Bart Starr looked on as the Great Orton steered,
He proved once and for all that a proud and true knight must wear a beard.