Power Rankings

Even though it's been over a month since the Power was last on, the top teams have more or less held serve. Two weeks to make a play, with all but one team still in the picture. Let's just get right into it before I start venting about how shoddy Mike McCarthy's playcalling is.

(...or how ill-equipped the Packers are to overcome Nick Barnett's injury and make a legit run at one of the NFL's worst divisions)
(...or that the Rexy-led Bears are about to end Green Bay's season on their own turf with nearly two months left on the regular season calendar)
(...or how Aaron Rodgers' arm looks more flaccid than Ciske's ween at a Regnery titty party)


But I digress...

1. Team lawniczak (8-2): This is what's known as a "make-up call." The Power Rankings took several weeks off, most of which would have put Lawny at the top.
You Are Here- The most consistent team from Day One, and the frontrunner talent-wise with a healthy Steven Jackson.
You'll End Here- Like many teams, a lack of consistently big QB scoring (Matty Ice and Big Ben) could be Lawny's kryptonite.

2. Flight of the Khannchords (8-2): League's highest point scorer has been victorious in 6 consecutive games, leaving top dogs Lawny, Murnane, and Gallert in his wake.
I Am Here- Warner is tossing his way to a (gulp) third MVP, and with the return of Boldin, there's no reason he'll slow up. Ryan Grant has shown signs of resurgence, averaging 4.3 and 4.7 yards per carry against the NFL's two best rush defenses.
I'll End Here- With his lack of carries, MJD is still one of the league's most mind-numbingly frustrating players, and is liable to have virtually no contribution any given week. Can Roddy and Megatron continue to post huge numbers despite unpredictable QB play?

3. Denver's Helicopter Men (6-4): Matchup of the week coming up against Lawny, with a first-round Bye still within striking distance.
You Are Here- Welcome back, AD. Steve Smith is quietly putting together another great campaign. Is K2 back, too?
You'll End Here- LJ's return continues to be the deciding factor for this team, for better or for worse. Without him, Murn-Dawg's flex is a major concern, with Torain's ACL joining Shaun Livingston's in tendon heaven, and Bowe getting fewer targets than Mark Bradley since Thiggy took over the reigns in KC.

4. Plack Beople (7-3): Good with his fingers, Argall keeps pushing the right buttons, despite a beat-up roster. (This is me dropping you a spot from where you would have been if you had written something)
You Are Here- SuperCut's ascent to, fall from, and return to his spot amongst the league's best fantasy QBs has been this year's great wild card.
You'll End Here- If he reverts to the 2007 Pagel version, post-injury Reggie will cripple Slick Willy in the 'offs. Lacking a legit #2 WR and weak at the flex spot, Ryno can't afford to get single digits from The Reg as well.

5. Team ciske (4-6): Scrambling back into the picture after dropping five in a row from weeks 2-6.
You Are Here- With Thomas Jones' return to fantasy relevance, Ciske has reeled off 106, 113, and 121 points in three of the last four. Suddenly a very deep and dangerous team. For the first time in two years, I have no shitty players to rip on.
You'll End Here- Doesn't control his own destiny, which is a shame. I've been loathe to give Benny credit, but this team is rounding into form nicely- and, most likely, a bit too late. Very tough finish (Murnane and Argall).

6. Clayton Bigsby (5-5): Queekfest's top WR duo has ran roughshod, but RB health keeps Diggs hovering around .500 and in danger of falling out of the playoff picture altogether.
You Are Here- 'Dre Days keep Gal in the thick of contention.
You'll End Here- Playoffs!!?? Three straight losses with no more than 79 points in a week does not bode well...but the season closes out with Parkhill and Garrett. The returns of Addai and Fast Willie key Nate Dogg's title hopes.

7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Tauschers (5-5): Two straight wins keeps Michael Leslie on life support.
You Are Here- Matt Forte has been everything DMC was supposed to be. I was completely wrong about Brandon Jacobs- just imagine what his numbers might be if he was getting a full complement of carries. No one wants to face a team QB'd by Romo in the playoffs.
You'll End Here- ?Donde esta Senor Moss? To clinch a spot in the tournament, Pagel needs to split his final two...which happen to be against one Anshu Khanna and another Brian Lawniczak.

8. Cromartie McFly (3-7): Much-anticipated transfer of the reins to Tim Hightower has come a bit too late for Psycho A.
You Are Here- Although we've likely heard the last of IV this season, with the dust clearing on injuries, Luebbers has a solid bunch, with Owens (with Romo), Colston, and Braylon back together for the first time since opening weekend.
You'll End Here- With just 53 points last week, Lu is going quietly. The Great Rookie RB Experiment has gone awry. Still, no one can take away his amazing poetic abilities.

9. Tivo Tebow (3-7): Florida controls its own destiny!
You Are Here- Tebow looks like a lock to get to NYC, and has at least an outside chance of being He15man again if Texas Tech trips up against Oklahoma and Mizzou in the Big 12 title...and Oklahoma loses to Oklahoma State...and Texas loses to Kansas...
You'll End Here- Like, right here. It's over. This is what you get for starting Jake Delhomme for multiple weeks.

10. Nirty Daggers (1-9): Maybe the name change will help break Parkhill's fantasy curse.
You Are Here- How this deeply-talented team didn't win more still confuses me.
You'll End Here- Too bad we don't draft backwards of this year's standings in '09.

Finally, since I've been gone for so long, here are my picks on all the games-

Chase Daniel Tasty Picks of the Week:
#1 Team Lawniczak over #3 Denver's Helicopter Men
#7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Tauschers over #2 Flight of the Khannchords
#5 Team ciske over #4 Plack Beople
#6 Clayton Bigsby over #10 Nirty Daggers
#8 Cromartie McFly over #9 Tivo Tebow